Module: Seriousify

Defined in:

lib/seriousify.rb

Class Method Summary

• .included(base) ⇒ Object

Instance Method Summary

• #generate_bs ⇒ Object

Class Method Details

.included(base) ⇒ Object

# File 'lib/seriousify.rb', line 2

def self.included(base)
  base.instance_eval do
    instance_methods(false).each do |method|
      alias_method "#{method}_seriously", method
      define_method(method) { generate_bs }
    end
  end
end

Instance Method Details

#generate_bs ⇒ Object

# File 'lib/seriousify.rb', line 11

def generate_bs

  array1 = ["implement", "utilize", "integrate", "streamline", "optimize", "evolve", "transform", "embrace", 
  "enable", "orchestrate", "leverage", "reinvent", "aggregate", "architect", "enhance", "incentivize", "morph", "empower", 
  "envisioneer", "monetize", "harness", "facilitate", "seize", "disintermediate", "synergize", "strategize", "deploy", 
  "brand", "grow", "target", "syndicate", "synthesize", "deliver", "mesh", "incubate", "engage", "maximize", "benchmark", 
  "expedite", "reintermediate", "whiteboard", "visualize", "repurpose", "innovate", "scale", "unleash", "drive", "extend", 
  "engineer", "revolutionize", "generate", "exploit", "transition", "e-enable", "iterate", "cultivate", "matrix", 
  "productize", "redefine", 
  "recontextualize"]

  array2 = ["clicks-and-mortar", "value-added", "vertical", "proactive", "robust", "revolutionary", "scalable", 
  "leading-edge", "innovative", "intuitive", "strategic", "e-business", "mission-critical", "sticky", "one-to-one", 
  "24/7", "end-to-end", "global", "B2B", "B2C", "granular", "frictionless", "virtual", "viral", "dynamic", "24/365", 
  "best-of-breed", "killer", "magnetic", "bleeding-edge", "web-enabled", "interactive", "dot-com", "sexy", "back-end", 
  "real-time", "efficient", "front-end", "distributed", "seamless", "extensible", "turn-key", "world-class", 
  "open-source", "cross-platform", "cross-media", "synergistic", "bricks-and-clicks", "out-of-the-box", "enterprise", 
  "integrated", "impactful", "wireless", "transparent", "next-generation", "cutting-edge", "user-centric", "visionary", 
  "customized", "ubiquitous", "plug-and-play", "collaborative", "compelling", "holistic", "rich"]

  array3 = ["synergies", "web-readiness", "paradigms", "markets", "partnerships", "infrastructures", "platforms", 
  "initiatives", "channels", "eyeballs", "communities", "ROI", "solutions", "e-tailers", "e-services", "action-items", 
  "portals", "niches", "technologies", "content", "vortals", "supply-chains", "convergence", "relationships", 
  "architectures", "interfaces", "e-markets", "e-commerce", "systems", "bandwidth", "infomediaries", "models", 
  "mindshare", "deliverables", "users", "schemas", "networks", "applications", "metrics", "e-business", "functionalities", 
  "experiences", "web services", "methodologies"]

  "#{array1[Random.rand(array1.size-1)]} #{array2[Random.rand(array2.size-1)]} #{array3[Random.rand(array3.size-1)]}"
end