{
/what/ => %w{wut whut},
/you\b/ => %w{yu yous yoo u},
/cture/ => 'kshur',
/unless/ => 'unles',
/the\b/ => 'teh',
/more/ => 'moar',
/my/ => %w{muh mah},
/are/ => %w{r is ar},
/eese/ => 'eez',
/ph/ => 'f',
/as\b/ => 'az',
/seriously/ => 'srsly',
/er\b/ => 'r',
/sion/ => 'shun',
/just/ => 'jus',
/ose\b/ => 'oze',
/eady/ => 'eddy',
/ome?\b/ => 'um',
/of\b/ => %w{of ov of},
/uestion/ => 'wesjun',
/want/ => 'wants',
/ead\b/ => 'edd',
/ucke/ => %w{ukki ukke},
/sion/ => 'shun',
/eak/ => 'ekk',
/age/ => 'uj',
/like/ => %w{likes liek},
/love/ => %w{loves lub lubs luv},
/\bis\b/ => ['ar teh','ar'],
/nd\b/ => 'n',
/who/ => 'hoo',
/'/ => %q{},
/ese\b/ => 'eez',
/outh/ => 'owf',
/scio/ => 'shu',
/esque/ => 'esk',
/ture/ => 'chur',
/\btoo?\b/ => %w{to t 2 to t},
/tious/ => 'shus',
/sure\b/ => 'shur',
/tty\b/ => 'tteh',
/were/ => 'was',
/ok\b/ => %w{'k kay},
/\ba\b/ => %q{},
/ym/ => 'im',
/thy\b/ => 'fee',
/\wly\w/ => 'li',
/que\w/ => 'kwe',
/oth/ => 'udd',
/ease/ => 'eez',
/ing\b/ => %w{in ins ng ing},
/have/ => ['has', 'hav', 'haz a'],
/your/ => %w{yur ur yore yoar},
/ove\b/ => %w{oov ove uuv uv oove},
/for/ => %w{for 4 fr fur for foar},
/thank/ => %w{fank tank thx thnx},
/good/ => %w{gud goed guud gude gewd},
/really/ => %w{rly rily rilly rilley},
/world/ => %w{wurrld whirld wurld wrld},
/i'?m\b/ => 'im',
/(?!e)ight/ => 'ite',
/(?!ues)tion/ => 'shun',
/you'?re/ => %w{yore yr},
/\boh\b(?!.*hai)/ => %w{o ohs},
/can\si\s(?:ple(?:a|e)(?:s|z)e?)?\s?have\sa/ => 'i can has',
/(?:hello|\bhi\b|\bhey\b|howdy|\byo\b),?/ => 'oh hai,',
/(?:god|allah|buddah?|diety)/ => 'ceiling cat',
}