Class: Malarkey

Inherits:
Object
  • Object
show all
Defined in:
lib/malarkey.rb

Constant Summary collapse

DATA = 
{
  lipsum: [
    "lorem", "ipsum", "dolor", "sit", "amet", "consectetur",
    "adipiscing", "elit", "nunc", "sagittis", "tortor", "ac", "mi",
    "pretium", "sed", "convallis", "massa", "pulvinar", "curabitur",
    "non", "turpis", "velit", "vitae", "rutrum", "odio", "aliquam",
    "sapien", "orci", "tempor", "sed", "elementum", "sit", "amet",
    "tincidunt", "sed", "risus", "etiam", "nec", "lacus", "id", "ante",
    "hendrerit", "malesuada", "donec", "porttitor", "magna", "eget",
    "libero", "pharetra", "sollicitudin", "aliquam", "mattis", "mattis",
    "massa", "et", "porta", "morbi", "vitae", "magna", "augue",
    "vestibulum", "at", "lectus", "sed", "tellus", "facilisis",
    "tincidunt", "suspendisse", "eros", "magna", "consequat", "at",
    "sollicitudin", "ac", "vestibulum", "vel", "dolor", "in", "egestas",
    "lacus", "quis", "lacus", "placerat", "et", "molestie", "ipsum",
    "scelerisque", "nullam", "sit", "amet", "tortor", "dui", "aenean",
    "pulvinar", "odio", "nec", "placerat", "fringilla", "neque", "dolor"
  ],
  names: {
    first: [
      "Jacob", "Isabella", "Ethan", "Emma", "Michael", "Olivia",
      "Alexander", "Sophia", "William", "Ava", "Joshua", "Emily",
      "Daniel", "Madison", "Jayden", "Abigail", "Noah", "Chloe",
      "Anthony", "Mia", "Christopher", "Elizabeth", "Aiden",
      "Addison", "Matthew", "Alexis", "David", "Ella", "Andrew",
      "Samantha", "Joseph", "Natalie", "Logan", "Grace", "James",
      "Lily", "Ryan", "Alyssa", "Benjamin", "Ashley", "Elijah",
      "Sarah", "Gabriel", "Taylor", "Christian", "Hannah", "Nathan",
      "Brianna", "Jackson", "Hailey", "John", "Kaylee", "Samuel",
      "Lillian", "Tyler", "Leah", "Dylan", "Anna", "Jonathan",
      "Allison", "Caleb", "Victoria", "Nicholas", "Avery", "Gavin",
      "Gabriella", "Mason", "Nevaeh", "Evan", "Kayla", "Landon",
      "Sofia", "Angel", "Brooklyn", "Brandon", "Riley", "Lucas",
      "Evelyn", "Isaac", "Savannah", "Isaiah", "Aubrey", "Jack",
      "Alexa", "Jose", "Peyton", "Kevin", "Makayla", "Jordan",
      "Layla", "Justin", "Lauren", "Brayden", "Zoe", "Luke", "Sydney",
      "Liam", "Audrey", "Carter", "Julia"
    ],
    last: [
      "Smith", "Johnson", "Williams", "Jones", "Brown", "Davis",
      "Miller", "Wilson", "Moore", "Taylor", "Anderson", "Thomas",
      "Jackson", "White", "Harris", "Martin", "Thompson", "Garcia",
      "Martinez", "Robinson", "Clark", "Rodriguez", "Lewis", "Lee",
      "Walker", "Hall", "Allen", "Young", "Hernandez", "King",
      "Wright", "Lopez", "Hill", "Scott", "Green", "Adams", "Baker",
      "Gonzalez", "Nelson", "Carter", "Mitchell", "Perez", "Roberts",
      "Turner", "Phillips", "Campbell", "Parker", "Evans", "Edwards",
      "Collins", "Stewart", "Sanchez", "Morris", "Rogers", "Reed",
      "Cook", "Morgan", "Bell", "Murphy", "Bailey", "Rivera",
      "Cooper", "Richardson", "Cox", "Howard", "Ward", "Torres",
      "Peterson", "Gray", "Ramirez", "James", "Watson", "Brooks",
      "Kelly", "Sanders", "Price", "Bennett", "Wood", "Barnes",
      "Ross", "Henderson", "Coleman", "Jenkins", "Perry", "Powell",
      "Long", "Patterson", "Hughes", "Flores", "Washington", "Butler",
      "Simmons", "Foster", "Gonzales", "Bryant", "Alexander",
      "Russell", "Griffin", "Diaz", "Hayes"
    ]
  },

  departments: ['HR', 'IT', 'Marketing', 'Engineering', 'Sales'],

  positions: ['Director', 'Manager', 'Team Lead', 'Team Member'],

  internet: {
    tlds: ['.com', '.net', '.org', '.edu', '.co.uk']
  },

  buzz: {
    nouns: [
      "action-items", "applications", "architectures", "bandwidth",
      "channels", "communities", "content", "convergence",
      "deliverables", "e-business", "e-commerce", "e-markets",
      "e-services", "e-tailers", "experiences", "eyeballs",
      "functionalities", "infomediaries", "infrastructures",
      "initiatives", "interfaces", "markets", "methodologies",
      "metrics", "mindshare", "models", "networks", "niches",
      "paradigms", "partnerships", "platforms", "portals",
      "relationships", "ROI", "schemas", "solutions", "supply-chains",
      "synergies", "systems", "technologies", "users", "vortals",
      "web services", "web-readiness"
    ],
    adjectives: [
      "24/365", "24/7", "B2B", "B2C", "back-end", "best-of-breed",
      "bleeding-edge", "bricks-and-clicks", "clicks-and-mortar",
      "collaborative", "compelling", "cross-media", "cross-platform",
      "customized", "cutting-edge", "distributed", "dot-com",
      "dynamic", "e-business", "efficient", "end-to-end",
      "enterprise", "extensible", "frictionless", "front-end",
      "global", "granular", "holistic", "impactful", "innovative",
      "integrated", "interactive", "intuitive", "killer",
      "leading-edge", "magnetic", "mission-critical", "multiplatform",
      "next-generation", "one-to-one", "open-source",
      "out-of-the-box", "plug-and-play", "proactive", "real-time",
      "revolutionary", "rich", "robust", "scalable", "seamless",
      "sexy", "sticky", "strategic", "synergistic", "transparent",
      "turn-key", "ubiquitous", "user-centric", "value-added",
      "vertical", "viral", "virtual", "visionary", "web-enabled",
      "wireless", "world-class"
    ],
    verbs: [
      "aggregate", "architect", "benchmark", "brand", "cultivate",
      "deliver", "deploy", "disintermediate", "drive", "e-enable",
      "embrace", "empower", "enable", "engage", "engineer", "enhance",
      "envisioneer", "evolve", "expedite", "exploit", "extend",
      "facilitate", "generate", "grow", "harness", "implement",
      "incentivize", "incubate", "innovate", "integrate", "iterate",
      "leverage", "matrix", "maximize", "mesh", "monetize", "morph",
      "optimize", "orchestrate", "productize", "recontextualize",
      "redefine", "reintermediate", "reinvent", "repurpose",
      "revolutionize", "scale", "seize", "strategize", "streamline",
      "syndicate", "synergize", "synthesize", "target", "transform",
      "transition", "unleash", "utilize", "visualize", "whiteboard"
    ]
  }
}

Instance Method Summary collapse

Constructor Details

#initialize(*data) ⇒ Malarkey

Returns a new instance of Malarkey.



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 2

def initialize(*data)
  sow(data)
end

Instance Method Details

#buzz_phrase ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 153

def buzz_phrase
  "#{pick(DATA[:buzz][:verbs])} #{pick(DATA[:buzz][:adjectives])} #{pick(DATA[:buzz][:nouns])}"
end

#first_name ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 137

def first_name
  "#{pick(DATA[:names][:first])}"
end

#frac ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 66

def frac
  fract32
end

#fract32 ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 58

def fract32
  rnd + (rnd * 0x200000).to_i * 1.1102230246251565e-16 # 2^-53
end

#hash(data) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 6

def hash(data)
  n = 0xefc8249d
  h = 0
  d = data.to_s

  d.each_codepoint { |cp|
    n += cp
    h = 0.02519603282416938 * n
    n = h.to_i
    h -= n
    h *= n
    n = h.to_i
    h -= n
    n += h * 0x100000000 # 2^32
  }

  n.to_i * 2.3283064365386963e-10 # 2^-32
end

#integer ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 62

def integer
  uint32
end

#integer_in_range(min = 0, max = 0) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 74

def integer_in_range(min=0, max=0)
  real_in_range(min, max).floor
end

#job_title ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 149

def job_title
  "#{pick(DATA[:departments])} #{pick(DATA[:positions])}"
end

#last_name ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 141

def last_name
  "#{pick(DATA[:names][:last])}"
end

#name ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 145

def name
  "#{pick(DATA[:names][:first])} #{pick(DATA[:names][:last])}"
end

#normal ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 82

def normal
  1.0 - 2.0 * frac
end

#pick(ary) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 98

def pick(ary)
  ary[integer_in_range(0, ary.length)]
end

#real ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 70

def real
  uint32 + fract32
end

#real_in_range(min = 0, max = 0) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 78

def real_in_range(min=0, max=0)
  frac * (max - min) + min
end

#rnd ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 25

def rnd
  t = 2091639 * @s0 + @c * 2.3283064365386963e-10 # 2^-32

  @c = t.to_i
  @s0 = @s1
  @s1 = @s2
  @s2 = t - @c

  @s2
end

#sentence ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 119

def sentence
  (words(integer_in_range(2, 16)).capitalize) + '.'
end

#sentences(num = 3) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 123

def sentences(num=3)
  ret = []

  (0..num).each do |i|
    ret.push(sentence)
  end

  ret.join(' ')
end

#sow(*data) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 36

def sow(*data)
  @s0 = hash(' ')
  @s1 = hash(@s0)
  @s2 = hash(@s1)
  @c = 1

  data.each { |d|
    @s0 -= hash(d)
    @s0 += 1 if @s0 < 0

    @s1 -= hash(d)
    @s1 += 1 if @s1 < 0

    @s2 -= hash(d)
    @s2 += 1 if @s2 < 0
  }
end

#timestamp(min = 946684800, max = 1577862000) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 133

def timestamp(min=946684800, max=1577862000)
  real_in_range(min, max)
end

#uint32 ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 54

def uint32
  rnd * 0x100000000
end

#uuid ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 86

def uuid
  'xxxxxxxx-xxxx-4xxx-yxxx-xxxxxxxxxxxx'.gsub!(/[xy]/) do |c|
    r = integer_in_range(0, 16)
    if c == 'x'
      v = r
    else
      v = (r&0x3|0x8)
    end
    v.to_s(16)
  end
end

#weighted_pick(ary) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 102

def weighted_pick(ary)
  ary[(frac**2).to_i * ary.length]
end

#word ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 106

def word
  pick(DATA[:lipsum])
end

#words(num = 3) ⇒ Object 



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# File 'lib/malarkey.rb', line 110

def words(num=3)
  ret = []
  (0..num).each do |i|
    ret.push(word)
  end

  ret.join(' ')
end