= ERMAHGERD, RUBY GERMS, MAH FRAVRIT!

It had to be done.

Ermahgerd is a ruby gem to translate your text from English into Ermahgerd-lish, based heavily (so far exclusively) on the "ERMAHGERD TRANSLATOR":http://ermahgerd.jmillerdesign.com by J Miller Design.

= Installation

gem install ermahgerd

= Usage

require 'ermahgerd'
Ermahgerd.translate("Goosebumps")  #=> "Gerseberms"

    var translate = function(word) {
                    // Don't translate short words
                    if (word.length == 1) {
                            return word;
                    }

                    // Handle specific words
                    switch (word) {
                            case 'AWESOME':                 return 'ERSUM';
                            case 'BANANA':                  return 'BERNERNER';
                            case 'BAYOU':                   return 'BERU';
                            case 'FAVORITE':
                            case 'FAVOURITE':               return 'FRAVRIT';
                            case 'GOOSEBUMPS':              return 'GERSBERMS';
                            case 'LONG':                    return 'LERNG';
                            case 'MY':                              return 'MAH';
                            case 'THE':                             return 'DA';
                            case 'THEY':                    return 'DEY';
                            case 'WE\'RE':                  return 'WER';
                            case 'YOU':                             return 'U';
                            case 'YOU\'RE':                 return 'YER';
                    }

                    // Before translating, keep a reference of the original word
                    var originalWord = word;

                    // Drop vowel from end of words
                    if (originalWord.length > 2) {  // Keep it for short words, like "WE"
                            word = word.replace(/[AEIOU]$/, '');
                    }

                    // Reduce duplicate letters
                    word = word.replace(/[^\w\s]|(.)(?=\1)/gi, '');

                    // Reduce adjacent vowels to one
                    word = word.replace(/[AEIOUY]{2,}/g, 'E');      // TODO: Keep Y as first letter

                    // DOWN -> DERN
                    word = word.replace(/OW/g, 'ER');

                    // PANCAKES -> PERNKERKS
                    word = word.replace(/AKES/g, 'ERKS');

                    // The mean and potatoes: replace vowels with ER
                    word = word.replace(/[AEIOUY]/g, 'ER');         // TODO: Keep Y as first letter

                    // OH -> ER
                    word = word.replace(/ERH/g, 'ER');

                    // MY -> MAH
                    word = word.replace(/MER/g, 'MAH');

                    // FALLING -> FERLIN
                    word = word.replace('ERNG', 'IN');

                    // POOPED -> PERPERD -> PERPED
                    word = word.replace('ERPERD', 'ERPED');

                    // MEME -> MAHM -> MERM
                    word = word.replace('MAHM', 'MERM');

                    // Keep Y as first character
                    // YES -> ERS -> YERS
                    if (originalWord.charAt(0) == 'Y') {
                            word = 'Y' + word;
                    }

                    // Reduce duplicate letters
                    word = word.replace(/[^\w\s]|(.)(?=\1)/gi, '');

                    // YELLOW -> YERLER -> YERLO
                    if ((originalWord.substr(-3) == 'LOW') && (word.substr(-3) == 'LER')) {
                            word = word.substr(0, word.length - 3) + 'LO';
                    }

                    return word;
            };